Reality vs. Bush (Round 1)

Confused by all of this talk about missing explosives in Iraq? Hey, who can blame you? All of those acronyms - HMX, IAEA, IED, UN, USA, DMX - can get mixed up and Iraq is just so far away. You know it's next to Iran, but that's about it.



So here's a handy chart comparing each facet of this story, the reality-based version and the version that exists only inside the Bush White House. (By the way, I'm doing this all of the top of my head, so if I mix up HMX and REX, save your corrections for talk radio.)



ITEM: 380 tons of highly explosive materiel has been stolen from a cache in Iraq. Expert say 1 pound of this stuff is enough to bring down a jet. 380 tons is 760,000 pounds. That's...well, you get the idea.

REALITY: Before Hussein was dropped, the IAEA had secured this materiel as part of the sanctioned inspections. Some would say this alone is proof that sanctions were working. It is now missing and likely in the hands of terrorists.

BUSH: This proves that Hussein wanted to arm terrorists.



ITEM: After Iraq was overtaken by US forces, our soldiers simply didn't have the manpower to inspect each and every one of these numerous weapons caches in Iraq. Furthermore, it wasn't part of their orders.

REALITY: Many experts - including Gen. Eric Shinseki - said that 300,000-400,000 troops would be needed to secure the peace in Iraq following the war.

BUSH: Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz declared Shinseki's prediction "wildly off the mark." Donald Rumseld continues to believe a lighter fighting force is best. Bush and associates thought we'd be greeted with candy and flowers, making the securing of sensitive sites unnessary.



ITEM: HMX and some of the other materiel are nearly perfect for constructing a small nuclear bomb. Not only are they pliable, they're strong and sturdy, meaning that they won't detonate if accidentally dropped. Additionally, they don't show up on X-rays or luggage scans.

REALITY: Only a small amount of HMX is required to detonate a small nuke.

BUSH: Although just a week earlier Dick Cheney was reminding us all that terrorists would LOVE to set off a nuke in an American city, this week Cheney is helpfully pointing out that hey, we've secured 400,000 tons of explosives in Iraq besides this, and that's pretty good!



ITEM: Kerry is using the missing explosives as yet another example of the Bush's administration misplanning, poor execution and general lack of thought.

REALITY: This materiel was secure thanks to UN inspections. The US invaded. Now it's missing.

BUSH: Sort of a two-parter here. 1) Kerry shouldn't be denigrating the troops by mentioning this stuff! - G.W. Bush 2) You can't blame Bush for this. Really, it's the troops' fault for not inspecting the places closely enough. - GOP shill Rudy Guiliani. (Expect that to be his last public appearance pre-11/2.)



ITEM: Poor planning and a basic lack of understanding of the realities on the ground created this situation.

REALITY: Yes.

BUSH: After an NBC News report said maybe the explosives were missing before the US invasion (probably not the case, though), Bush said that somebody who jumps to conclusions without knowing the facts isn't fit to be Commander in Chief. No, seriously, he actually said it. Maybe he gets different reports on Iraq than we do. Because, you know, we read the news occasionally.



So there you go. The facts vs. Bush. You decide!

Punny!

Hayley has shared a little election-related humor with me this week.



"Did you know that November 2 is also National Abstinence Day? Yeah, no Bush and no Dick!"



"Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky is voting for Bush this year? Apparently, the Democrats left a bad taste in her mouth."



ZING!



Hayley Schore, ladies and gentlemen!



Ugh.

Tough choice

I can't decide whether I would rather watch Christmas With The Krunks or get hit square in the nuts with a hot cast iron skillet.



Maybe if I didn't have to pay to see it.



Although you have to admire Tim Allen's ability to turn a mediocre, 5 minute stand up bit into a really shitty 20 year career. Better than slingin' dem rocks, biyatch!