Screw the peril-ness of literature

As I moved on into the world of writing, I realised writers have the least freedom, when writing itself is the only way to convey freedom. And those writing in such manner that they would predict the day they would die with a bullet in their heads? How useful you are as a writer to the community, how educated we seemed to people, and how educated people seemed to criticised us to the core is the fundamental base to publishing your thoughts to the world. Never obey a crooked instinct, and I’ve learned it the hard way.


Bulldrop this thought. I lived in an eggy fairytale world. My freedom is beyond the capability of the maximum angle literature can bend.

Words were once thought to be a conveyer, but with added flowers and spices and a little bit of cheese, it shows that cows in the fields are the Swiss army knives of the farm.

Those taking it to a higher level? Printed names?

We can’t tell you exactly what the future holds-only prophets or madmen truly know the future, and we authors are overqualified for one of those positions and under qualified for the other. So, we place our reputation in a certain amount of peril, making moderately educated guesses about the biology, physics, chemistry, art and medicine of tomorrow. We did this for two reasons: someone had to, and we needed the money.

But do take note that we can express our discomfort and unhappiness about ancient predictions and whatever has become of today.

Long time ago, we used to have bulls pulling our carts, then we rides horses, and to think that after all the technological advances we’ve achieved, we designed polluting mobile machines that would certainly give mechanical problems to your physics teacher, making him attending class late because of his frequent visits to the workshop when we could have our carts pulled by giant genetically engineered lobsters instead...

“See what I mean?”

Hounds on Dark Patch

The sails were hoisted, the crews are all on board, and we set sailing across the dark starry night sky, boarding away through the Martian atmosphere. My dear beloved and most good looking Captain Wright sat on front deck, looking out at the star, turning his head back, giving me a handsome smile. It was cold, and I know he’d come to keep me warm, but he turned back and stood straight by the sudden, appearing there’s something laying there beyond the horizon.

Ever since Earth was abandoned by most of us, she nourished herself, healed by the wonders of nature and the magical creature that once roamed and ruled by her peacefully. Now, returning to Earth after all the technological advances and excitement has been barred by creatures of the olden times. There are the wise ones of the wizards, and sly goblins, civilised elves of the west, sea people of the south, dragons of the north naughty fairies and clumsy Cyclopes. But at the far end of Earth, lie the scar, a patch which Earth could not heal, and an unfair cosmic reminder of her previous children. It was dark, cold, unfertile, unsettled, and unlived.

Wright seemed to forget reality at some point, always do, equationally stirring us starboard towards the patch, landing at the edge of a canyon. Nothing much to see, he just wanted to experience her scar, her pain. But in all darkness life still build its chances, allowed or not. There are creatures living in the dark, and no, they’re not creatures of evil as we would read about or heard about in stories. As far as I know, evil exist most in the light of day, flourish in a most expensive way, looking good at al times, having award winning smiles and an extremely generous amount of social help.

What Captain Wright and I learned on that day was the existence of the Howndders. Oh boy, were they friendly. They are dogs by the way, just a little different. How we felt pity over them, shaking, shivering in hunger and in the cold of the dark night left to scavenge absolutely nothing at all.
Wright threw a sausage over them, as they approach, licking our hands, playing fetch with us. It’s the company they wanted. They are dogs anyways.

What we’ve also learned is that you should not attempt to feed the Howndders, no matter how friendly they are. These friendly creatures tend to follow you where ever you go and they’ll not stop. It was a little sad to leave them as we board our ship, ready for sailing. One got caught up with the ropes. Captain Wright had to shake him off. It was even more sad to hear them howling away, disappearing into the darkness as we continue with our journey on old Earth.

Goodbye

Writing prompt: Goodbye
Type: Poetry
Organizer: Daily Writing Prompt

Goodbye,

Or was it hello again?
Why? Is 'bye' good?
Or was it ‘eye’ misspelled
Makes you wonder, No
Makes me wonder
I’m confused.

Goodbye means your ice-cream will taste flat
Or your root beer will delight you
Depending on your ‘goodbye’
Like this ‘goodbye’ for instance,
With 14 hours and 23 minutes left on the countdown,
Made me sleepy, thus indirectly making my peanut butter sandwich tasteless
Or was it directly?
Gosh, I cannot remember…maybe I should ask the sandwich
….
There you go

Wait,
I've already said goodbye to the sandwich earlier
In a delicious way
Gosh I’m bored,does this sound like poetry?
Looks like one
If only Microsoft word could speak…
Lava, it suppose to be about goodbyes,
Write Lava, write something
Not much time left.

Talking to myself in poetry…
Is this poetry by the way?
Failing in an enzymatic way
Great, my homework is calling for me.

Goodbye.

Zizou Corder - Halo

Aite, bestselling author of the Lionboy Trilogy Zizou Corder made another eye-catching cover on shelves recently, Halo. Finished in a few months ago.
I absolutely adore how Halo was made to be a young, fresh, innocent, filled with strong spirit and courage, unbeatable by male components, yet so feminine. Halo reminded me of myself so much, I fell like denying it. Leonidas was brought in well, so as the centaurs, and my favourite, Arko the centaur (Halo's brother). Corder brought in the plot very well, as baby Halo washed ashore in ancient greece in a turtle's shell up to the end of her quest, partly living in disguise, the plague and the war and how she ended up meeting her biological mother.
It's one of the best books of the year, a must get copy. I think it's a really good book in the firmament of children's literary. You'll get good sense of suspens,betrayal, courage and some other stuff you might sense out in a book. Awesome.

Riordan Fans! Heroes of Olympus: The Lost Hero

It's official! Today, Disney-Hyperion announced that the second series of Camp Half-Blood adventures will be called The Heroes of Olympus. The first book, The Lost Hero, will be published Oct. 12, 2010.

The image above is not the final cover. That will be revealed this summer, along with more information. Who is the lost hero? Which characters from the first series will you see? Who are the new demigods? For now, I can't drop any hints, but here is a short book description from the official press release:

ABOUT THE BOOK:

After saving Olympus from the evil Titan lord, Kronos, Percy and friends have rebuilt their beloved Camp Half-Blood, where the next generation of demigods must now prepare for a chilling prophecy of their own:

Seven half-bloods shall answer the call,

To storm or fire the world must fall.

An oath to keep with a final breath,

And foes bear arms to the Doors of Death.

Now, in a brand-new series from blockbuster best-selling author Rick Riordan, fans return to the world of Camp Half-Blood. Here, a new group of heroes will inherit a quest. But to survive the journey, they’ll need the help of some familiar demigods.

-Taken from Rick Riordan's Blog-

Cant freaking wait!!!

New adventures with Percy and friends, the strawberry fields in Camp Half-Blood...absence of Luke Castellan :( ....

A midnight insanity after reading an ancient Enigma

I hate what the biblical film epics did to the Egyptians, the brutal image portrayed, using the enormous task story of gangs of slaves when there is no absolute evidence suggesting the myth of such massive enterprise, which seems like a colossal waste of time and energy. Have Vatican I no clue of astronomy? Ancient racism is blasphemy. Of such stories written by Europeans when they're still primitive compared to the highly religious and advanced Egyptians, and we've taken to account such edited work, thousands of years later? How mentally brutal can old civilizations get to up-glow themselves, categorized such people of extreme reserved, who kept the inner mysteries from all but their chosen initiates, of motives of sciences incorporated in religion.
We can only sit, and ponder yet again upon words of drunken 2000 year old man, absorb good will into our hearts, waiting for Judgement day....which I hope no ancient envious writers who have done such damage would follow upon and leading us where we should be going....
Or the libraries in heaven are nothing more comparable than the KL National Library, useless as its appearance and smell.
If we were to be lied to in heaven, then prepare yourself to invade the reset button, where our souls could teleport to another planet capable of supporting life, and start over...and time travel, visiting 'us' in ancient times, further support their technological advances, like the AVP movie (except for the sacrificial ceremonies), and establish a communion of inter-galactic Christianity, a Vatican IV perhaps, and an anti-Christ of the dark side like Star Wars...where then we encourage war, but reduced by an intergalactic version of a reformed "Flower-Power", and play Elvis, The Blues Brothers and John Lee Hooker throughout space, stopping at a galactic cheeseburger stand on a moon in a distance galaxy, light travel to your nearest church, where you'll hear a archeological proven old testament, and eat glowing holy breads and radioactive sacramental wine...
What, we already have a Robin Hood in space...and walkie talkies!
And how dusty history books you dig up behind your shelves in the middle of the night could bring such insanity, blogging like a comic character owned by Graham Annable…

Riordan Fans!

KANE CHRONICLES OUT NOW

As promised by Riordan

Been waiting for years,finally!

Got my copy, how 'bout you?

A must get poetic edda by Tolkien

I remember buying this after hearing HarperCollins releasing it, on May 5th 2009. It was written by Tolkien in the 1920's and remained unpublish till the very recent. Those who are interested in poetic edda, traditional poetry or a Tolkien maniac should have a copy. His son did a good job on the commentary.

You'll understand it better if you're familiar with german mythology. Remember the legend of Sigurd and the fall of the Niflungs?
Without my middle english vocab revision, I was able to catch most during Signy.
I've gone through this work of Tolkien's four times. Thought of starting a poetic edda myself, but I laughed at that thought...myself.
I shall post a summary written by myself, with my notes and references I make to the usage of the language of the middle earth for anyone's convenience, but will do after I restart posting "Fingery Usage for the modern English language", you'll see it now and then.
Dont worry, I will slot some fingeries for middle english usage (I could see faces of concern among my old readers).
Till then...like my golden badge would always say my boys, "read"

The Dead Zebra

We saw a dead zebra
in the drain ; beside the post office
We saw a dead monkey
and a man begging for money
beside a crowded morning clinic
We saw a chimpanzee gasping for air
and a chimp barely able to breathe (in the sea)
We saw a man wearing zebra clothes
crossing the zebra crossing
We saw a man wearing zigzag clothes
crossing the zigzag crossing
Why should we all suffer like this

We want to remove all zebra crossings
We want to remove all zigzag crossings
We want clean air for the chimpanzees
We want money to be given to the man with the dead monkey
We want the DBKL to clean the drain,
which got clogged by the dead zebra
We want John Masters and Polo given to people who wear
crap clothes
Let us decide what the community rights should be;
for now and forever.

By Hasvinder Kaur and Lavania Sugu
17th October 2006

Drain

Mom’s cousin brought back a new girlfriend, and boy how annoying that 23 year old woman was. Visiting sucks. There’s nothing much in Tampin, just a large area filled with old, half abandoned kampongs. Irritated, I burst out all swears that I can swear out. With mummy busy with visiting, I decided to sneak out, and explore the boredom of whatever that’s still standing.

And so I begin my ‘journey’, carrying a bag filled with my wallet, phone, food, a book and a bottle of water. As I was walking in that small town, I decided to take a detour, entering a small road behind the shops, leading to a small kampong, barely filled with people, and oh so usang. The houses were all made of wood; some were as clear as no more. The kampong was not maintained anymore, so, the nearby hutan is taking over.And so, being female, I decided to enter the kampong, walking on its main road, passing by every old house. After a short while, I reached the end of the kampong, facing a hutan. There, where I was standing, was an old wooden house, where an old granny came out, and said “Nak, buat apo rayao-rayao?” “Tengok-tengok je nek” “Kalo cam tuh, kalo nampak harimao, jangan tegur, jangan buat bising tau, buat tak taw eh, tak mo tegor-tegor” (My dear Malay friends, you know what she meant).

After having her creeping me out, I decided to enter the hutan, just to look around, without knowing that my geographical instincts was about to get me into real trouble. I saw a tree with a fruit that is adable, I don’t know its name, but it taste like passion fruit (grandma taught me). Then, something caught my eye, moving, it was a biawak, huge fella. Came down, and I approach the creature. Realising that action, the giant lizard darted of, fast. I chased it, without thinking. As I was running, I step into a dent, which turned out to be a huge hole. The hole was deep, and the fall was hard. My head went spiny for a while. I rolled up to my back, moving my legs and arms, then my neck, to check if there’s anything broken. Got up, to check for any injuries, none. I look up, and around. It turns out I fell into some sort of a drain. I was in this cubicle concrete structure, all dried up, and with its surface covered with plants, which explains why I didn’t realise its existence. I tried reaching my hands to the top, jumping as high as I could, but with no luck, it was deep. There were no cracks or jolts to help me up and after 15 minutes shouting for help, I realise it was pointless. I knew I was stuck, for sure. There was no way out. I sat, feeling hungry; grab a bite of whatever I had in my bag. I was hoping for someone to find me, but I am aware of how hopeless it was, who would enter an abandoned mini-hutan anyway, no one knows the drain was there.

But I wasn’t afraid. I found it extremely weird that I was not afraid. I should be, fear is the key to survival, makes you think. I was fonder with my curiosity about the drain, its unfamiliar structure, how it resembles nothing like modern drainage systems, how old and decomposing the concrete is, how it tunnels both on my left and right. After spending an hour in there, I decided to find a way out myself. If I can’t go up, then I’ll get out sideways, the drain will surely lead me somewhere. Thus, I followed the tunnel. It was getting dark, and I know I have to move fast before I lose precious daylight. I reached to the other end, deposited in another cubicle of useless concrete. I move on, continuing into the tunnel, reaching another cubicle. I was lucky as the walls were cracked opened by roots of trees, growing through the walls of the concrete. I decided to use the roots to climb up, placing my hands and feet progressively. Trust me; it wasn’t as easy as it is in the movies. I spent half an hour trying to climb out. Once I got out, I look out for a long stick, using it to trek the hutan, making sure I would not fall into anything anymore. I used my bearing I learned from Pn.Rusmarini and especially Cikgu Azmi, identifying where the sun sets, the gradient of the slants and identifying the tree that I might have cross by (and boy I was useless at those skills). I know I should move a roughly minus 25 of west (thanks again Cikgu Azmi for applying that habit into us). Finally, I got out, facing an extremely old house, a part of the kampong the hutan successfully taken over. I follow the path which leads me to the main road of the kampong, and out. I took the small road out from behind the shops, entered the town, and back home. It was already 6 in the evening, or so. My mom went hysterical; I can’t answer her calls, can I? There was no signal. I could not tell her I snuck out, entered an abandoned kampong, chased a lizard into the hutan, and got stuck in a hole.

“Errmmm...I went for cendol mummy, in town...and got caught up with football on TV, sorry”

Went into the bathroom, I checked for scratches and such. I was proud I didn’t injure myself, after a fall like that, I could have broken something. Then, I saw a dried twig tangled in my hair. While attempting to get it out, it scraped the skin of my finger. There goes my record.

After a hot shower back in KL, the shivers start to kick in. I wasn’t scared before. I was too busy thinking about getting out, getting my bearings, wondering about such a huge, unfamiliar of a drain in the middle of a thick bush pat, what was it doing there and such. I wasn’t even thinking about the fact that I was stuck, or might get eaten by wild animals, or die of starvation, or maybe it might have rained, or that it might be too late when people already found me. The thoughts which I left aside came back, and boy was I scared!

I was very lucky. It could have become serious. Thus, I would like to thank Cikgu Azmi for the skills, Artemis, Goddess of the maidens for protecting me, Athena, goddess of wisdom for my actions, Odin, for my bravery, Christ, for my realisations and for making me love myself and Semangat for not making me nature’s food. My friends, who cared about me and the poor, lonely, undiscovered longkang.

And lastly, my dear teacher, Nehemiah Trot, who kept me going throughout the entire moment, keeping me sane, encouraging me to continue planning, which help my survival. I never got lost in a jungle before, and this was my first, even though it wasn’t really a jungle, something I like to call a mini-hutan. You can write that down and nailed it on whoever’s door, I shall write. I am definitely proud to be your young Alexander. Thus, I dedicated this post for you.

Mangsa ragut di tengah-tengah padang

KUALA LUMPUR 13 Dis - Seperti kelazimannya, sebilah rumput bertumbuh seawal pagi menghala ke arah sinaran cahaya matahari pagi. Pagi semalam, rumput tersebut bersantai melambai-lambai badannya di padang mainan Taman Peranin di Kilometer 5.6 seperti mana rumput-rumput yang lain.

Namun, tindakan rumput tersebut bertukar menjadi mimpi ngeri buatnya apabila rakan rumput sebelahnya diragut oleh seekor kambing berwarna coklat dalam kejadian kira-kira pukul 5.45 pagi ini.

Timbalan Ketua Polis Daerah Atol, Supritendan Kamilia Shahrir berkata, ketika tiba di padang rumput tersebut, rakan serumput yang berusia 1 hari  itu menyedari terdapat 4 ekor kambing di kawasan itu.

Katanya, selepas selasai menikmati sinaran matahari pagi itu , mangsa berasa curiga dan takut diapa-apakan oleh sekumpulan kambing terbabit.

"Sewaktu rakan saya menikmati sinaran matahari dan angin yang meniup pada pagi itu,salah seorang daripada suspek meragut badan rakan saya dan mengunyah dia sampai hancur serta ditelan habis sebelum melarikan diri" katanya ketika ditemui semalam.

Tambah Kamie, mangsa ketika ini sudah melalui proses pencernaan yang ekstrem dan melampau dan pihaknya kini sedang berusaha mengesan suspek berdasarkan bentuk dan lengkukan kedua-dua tanduk suspek serta janggutnya.

Two Men Walking in the Park

Two men walking in the park, in winter, each wearing a long black coat, black trousers, a pair of black shoes and had their short hair combed back flat. They’re alone there, and nobody had the park in their mind and the bottom of their feet that afternoon. Everything was grey and cold, and only these two white men left animated in the park.


Assassin 1: I got my orders, I have to do this.

Assassin 2: What? You have to bring him in alive or dead?

Assassin 1: Dead. Dead as coal. I could not do it, not this time.

Assassin 2: Why? (Take a bite of an apple) You know this guy?

Assassin 1: Yup. Know him dead right, now, I have to know him dead, for real.

Assassin 2: Family of yours or something?

Assassin 1: Considered him as one not related though.

Assassin 2: You’ve been there before, you can do it again.

Assassin 1: Nope, this guy’s different. I could blow my mother’s head, but not his. He’s covered for me a lot. Don’t think I could live without him...

Assassin 2: Hope you’re talking about a friend as in friend, not more than that or something. Never knew if you’re one, might choke on my apple by the surprise...haha.

Assassin 1: What should I do then?

Assassin 2: Well, does he know what you’re doing for a living?

Assassin 1: Yup.

Assassin 2: You gonna use your working gun?

Assassin 1: Yup.

Assassin 2: Are you gonna tell him or making it a secret? It’s easier if you blow his brains out while he’s having lunch alone or while he’s in a shower or something...

Assassin 1: You think I should tell him?

Assassin 2: Well, if you think he’s not going to go “Shit man! You gonna kill me because boss thought I’mma threat?” That’s gonna end up in a movie one day (Gave the apple another bite)

Assassin 1: Yeah right (Gave a little laugh, even though he found it not funny at all). Killing this good friend of mine is no easy task, like I said, shooting my own mother is easier, it’s like killing your own partner if you’re a cop.

Assassin 2: Rough mission this time, huh? (Ponder on his apple, staring at the trees) Haha, I’m your partner, try shooting me! Imagine that! You’re gonna tell me you’re gonna kill me cause you have to! Amazingly weird!

Assassin 1: HAHAHA! Yeah! Like “Hey man, Boss’s not happy with you, guess I have to blow your brains” HAHAHA...hilarious...

Assassin 2: Yeah...fuh! ...So, are you gonna tell this fellow you’re about to kill him, and that you have to?

Assassin 1: Well...I just did.

We Should Blame Mona for 2012

Mona is 65 years old. She lives with her evil step-sister, Eva. They don’t have any children, neither a grandchild. Eva is truly evil. She’s always evil. She treats Mona in a bad way. Mona will have to do all the hard work and difficult chores, while Eva sits in garden, drinking expansive tea, in her neat costly clothes, ordering Mona what to do next. Mona, being a nice old lady, wearing rags and all, obeyed. Because I just absolutely hate typing, I am going to have you to picture Mona as Cinderella, OK?

In the tele one day, the both of them saw the Prime Minister announcing some grandma-babysitting contest, which will be held in their town. The goal is to look for an ideal grandma to take care of the Prime Ministers kids when he’s away. Of course, as you have guessed it, Eva gets to enrol herself in the competition while Mona had no choice but to do more house work at home. So, Mona started to feel like as if her life is a waste, and she would not have much time for anything. So she sat at the fire place, and cried, while Eva was in town, filling up her forms.

While Mona was crying her grey hair out, a magical fairy-alien creature with goggle like eyes and green skin, no taller than 3 feet, appeared out of the fireplace. It startled Mona. She tried running away, but by the time she made to the door, we will all be asleep. The fairy-alien creature then said “Not to worry, old female human specimen, I am your fairy-alien companion. I am here to help you because your step-sister has practice some sort of injustice towards you”. Mona began to feel ridiculous about being afraid of the extra-terrestrial creature, and began to trust what she has seen. “Mr. Magic Alien Sir, I really wanted to be in that grandma-babysitting competition, it’s the only way out, for a better life!”

“That’s what I’m here for, Mona.”

The fairy-alien creature took out some sort of a GPS wand, and gave it a wave. Then, Mona found herself in a large tube. The tube was then filled with smoke, suffocating Mona a little. Then, the walls of the tube slide open, and Mona stepped out of it with a neatly pinned hair bun, proper glasses, proper dress and proper choppers teeth. She had proper shoes and a nanny bag filled with supplies.

“I’ll teleport you to town, for the day’s program. There are five grandmothers attending. One of them is your sister. At the end of the day, the children’s vote will be taken for the winner, and the winning grandmother will have a chance of a better life. But beware, by the end of the day, all the neat and proper things you had been given to from the tube will evaporate. So, you must leave before midnight, or your sister will find out and sabotage you”

“Oh fairy-alien creature, thank you ever so much!”

“Just doing my inter-galactic job”. Then, a little spaceship carried Mona away to town, and the fairy-alien teleported to another world to do his duties. At the Prime Minister’s house, four grandmothers are already there when Mona arrived, and Mona gave her already prepared forms. The entire day, they all spent their time baby-sitting the Prime Minister’s children. All grandmothers who were there gave up their intentions and purposes towards the children, while they enjoy the facilities in the house, the bar, Jacuzzi, handsome old mans in the band playing the blues. Eva was enjoying the tv set, ignoring the annoying children and their tea time. Mona on the other hand, spent time with the children, take them for walks, made them cookies, read them stories, watch them on their naps and play game with them, and at the same time, taking care of them n the right way. At the end of the day, the children loved Mona. Before the children give their vote on which contestant was the best baby-sitting grandmother, all five old ladies, the children and the Prime Minister himself sat on the table, ready to have a wonderful dinner. The children kept on talking about Mona and how much they like her. Eva got very jealous. When the clock chimed eleven at night, Mona left the dinner in a hurry, apologizing on the way. When she left the table, she left out her perfect set of fake teeth by accident, but was in a hurry to leave, never bother to turn and take them. She ran and ran until she reached the streets, and whatever she had with her evaporated. So, she returned home, hoping never to be found by the Prime Minister. They all knew that night that Mona is the winner, but their winner is missing. Eva liked that. She liked that because when she returned home, she had Mona locked up in her room, never to come out, as the next day, people were sent out to look for Mona.

“Our search will be difficult. We only know Mona as Mona herself. There are many grandmothers out there. But not to worry, for we have Mona’s set of fake teeth she left back at the house, and we’ll search every grandmother in town base on the fake teeth.” said the Prime Minister. Eva knew she had the chance; she cleared up the whole house for his coming. After searching the whole town, with every grandmother calling themselves Mona, to find the teeth never fit, the last house to stop is Eva’s. At Eva’s, the fake teeth was forced into her gums, by herself. But the children were there, and they knew she wasn’t Eva. So, the youngest one, who has the sharpest hearing, heard Mona crying upstairs. He ran up, and had the door unlocked. Mona came out, and got the teeth to fit. But the upper set was with Eva, so she tossed in the fire. They were all upset, but not for long. Mona had the bottom set, which fits just fine. And so they found Mona. But the teeth Eva tossed in the fire started to prickle and let out smoke. The people in the room started to inhale the smoke, and started coughing out blood. Then, they all drop on the floor and die. When the police found their rotting bodies, they caught up a disease, transmitted through the bodies. The plague then went airborne, and scientist found no cure. Sooner, almost the entire human race was wiped out.

You see, the fairy-alien was not fairy. He’s only an extra-terrestrial being. He and his kind are planning to take over the planet and use its resources. They have to get rid of the dominant species which rule the planet. They studied human kind for millenniums, and have taken The Cinderella Story seriously. They watched every one of us, and found Mona, and her similarities to the story. They knew Eva would react the way she reacted, and so they made such a set of teeth that would bring an incurable plague, for they have studied the human anatomy and found a virus that can destroy all people. And so…the aliens  won. What? Wasn’t what you wanted to hear?

Mosquitoes

Once upon a time, there lived a young teenage girl. Now the girl had a wonderful family before, though she had no brothers or sisters. Then, her mother died of an unknown disease. And so one day, her father decided to marry a rich divorced lady from a nearby town. He thinks that his teenage daughter needed the care and attention of a mother. As the years go by, her father died of a tragic accident, leaving her biologically orphan. This event, however, has made her stepmother to show her real colour. The poor girl then was put to hard work around the house, doing chores till midnight and had no rest. The big house she once lived in, with all freedom was now her cage. She was given an old, dusty room with a small window for little light and breeze, but for all, she had nothing. Her room, which she had once, was given to her stepbrother, the one person who actually enjoys the misery of her life. He would bare false witness against her, making a horrible event which occurred to be her fault, when it was his.

Now, the biggest problem the village they lived in was mosquitoes. There are so many of the little creature that all people were to sleep with mosquito bed nets. The family had the finest bed nets in the land, but the girl had the opposite. Hers was filled with holes, huge holes that seemed to be an invitation to all mosquitoes in the land for a great feast. And every night, she can go to sleep with no peace, for the mosquitoes kept on feasting on her blood. For one tired and exhausting night, irritated by the mosquitoes, she started to kill them. She slapped as hard as she could, and many mosquitoes died.

Upon seeing this, the Commander of the Mosquito Army sent an entire fleet to her bedroom. Now, all could the girl do was watch as a giant army of mosquitoes entered her little, gloomy room, carrying her in her already torn blanket, with all their might. Mind you that the number of mosquitoes carrying the girl was unbelievable. And so, out from the window and away into the night, the mosquitoes carried the girl. The girl was so frightened, she barely made a noise as they carried her away to a faraway swamp. Once they reached their nest, the girl was brought to their queen. Their queen appears to be the biggest mosquito you have ever seen, yet she did not looked much evil and hungry, but calm and patient. The girl then, realizing that it was their queen, gave her a bow, without muttering a word.

“My child, I heard from my sources that you have killed many of my mosquitoes. Tell me, what is your intention to decrease the size of my army?”
“Your highness, pardon me, oh please! It has been a terrible day. I was forced to wax the floor of the entire mansion belonging to my father, by my very own stepmother. I have not rested for many days. When the opportunity of a good night sleep came, I was disturbed by an army of mosquitoes. With my humanoid instincts, I killed them”
“Your stepmother would do such a thing to you? Oh, you poor misfortunate girl, I feel for you. Since you have no bad intentions over killing my men, I shall free you. Instead, I will grant you a give. But first, you must obtain for me a watermelon; can you do that for me, my child?”
“Yes, your majesty, I will try my best to get you a watermelon.”

And so the next day, the girl re-visited the swamp with a huge watermelon, after sneaking out from her home. The watermelon was the handed to the queen as she requested. The queen then muttered some magical spells and made the watermelon glow, which made the girl amazed and awed.
The watermelon was then given to girl. “Now my child, go home to your room, with a big knife in your hand. Cut the watermelon into two, right at its center. As you make the first cut, whatever you muttered first, will come true. But do this with all your windows and doors opened”.

And so that was what the girl did. Then, the room was suddenly filled with many extraordinary gifts of jewelry, gold shillings and beautiful outfits decorating the entire room, from the top of the ceiling to the bottom of the floor. Now, her stepbrother who was watching from behind saw the entire event and wanted to have the same gift as his stepsister’s. And so he came into the room, and confronted her. She told him the entire adventure she had, being all innocent and honest. And so at that night, as to prepare for bed, he started tearing his bed nets, dressed in rags like his sister and fell asleep. At that night, an army of mosquitoes attacked him. In accordance to his sister’s event, he killed many, and was brought to see the queen. He told the same story as his sister did, and got sympathy from the queen. He also obtained the same task and gift, and ran off back to home in the morning. So ran upstairs he did into his room. The girl then approached her brother, wanting to share his delight, but his greed was overwhelming. He told her to get out of the room, and shut all windows and doors so that no one can see. In the room, all alone, he sat there, a knife in his right hand, and a watermelon in front of him. As he made his first cut, with his greedy wish waiting to escape his tongue, his very own mother gave a knock on his door, which caught him by alarm and startled him. To this, with the first cut of the magical watermelon, he muttered

“Crap!”

Hash brown

As usual, everyday, a sheep was to be dragged to a cold, dark cave up in the mountains of Hash brown. There, the sheep will be tied to a poll made ready at the mouth of the cave. Then, all men who dragged the sheep up the mountain will run for their lives as they hear his breath. It seemed forever the village of Hash brown lived in fear of a fearsome dragon. Its scales are as hard as celestial bronze, armoring his entire body. His breath of fire destroys corps of people, who are then left to starve. The King has lost many of his noblest knights in order to kill the mighty dragon.

One afternoon, as all villagers fear once, the dragon paid a visit.
"I am tired of feasting upon sheep which none other tastes like sticks and stone!"
"But we feed you with the finest sheep we've ever had. With the burning of out crops, our people themselves have not much to eat, never mention of the sheep!" said the King.
"Have I not warned you that if I am not fed well, then your village will I destroy?!" said the dragon. "If your majesty were to ensure the survival of His kingdom, then once of every month, you shall send me a fair maiden from the village for me to feast on".
"I cannot do that! I have...”
"SILENCE!! I think my orders are precise and well understood! I shall be expecting my dine four days from now". And the dragon flew away to his cave, till he's out of sight. The King, with a million stones of burden in his heart, has no choice but to obey, and ever so every month since the event, a maiden was sacrificed.

Then it was heard a stranger from the North, who's a dragon slayer and expert of hand, was called upon Hash brown. The doors of the castle then opened as the stranger enters. He was not what the King expected him to be. He appears to not look like a dragon slayer, but an old crooked man who walked crookedly, with nothing on him but a leather bag which could not bear any type of weapon.
"Old man, as I have heard you slay dragons, chases them away, tame them! Are you not the man of whom I've spoken?" asked the King,
"Yes, I am. Your dragon cannot be slayed my King. To kill it, there’s a way, but you must find the answer  in the name of your village."
"I don't understand you, old man! Are you saying, to kill the dragon will take no brave knights and weapons, but merely by the name of the village? The dragon has spoken the village's name a thousand times. I have you know that there are many of the village's maidens been sacrificed for the sake of the kingdom!"

But it is in a blink of an eye that the old man disappears from sight, and the king was left in despair. Then, a subject of the castle gathered his courage, for he is the man of medicine in the castle, as wise as he is, said.
"Your majesty, if I were to translate the message of the old man, I would say that we should feed the dragon...our 'village' "
"Have you gone mad?! Have the sorcery of the old man taken your wisdom? How could you possibly say that I have to feed the entire kingdom to the dragon? If I were to do so, am I not speeding up the dragon's wish?"
"By means Your Majesty, not the people of the kingdom, but the name of it, Hash brown. To my knowledge, the word ‘Hashbrown’ is a type of potato snack, flattens and fried, and happens to be a favourite snack of a distance land. But the potato, as to all, when fried will drain a whole lot of oil from the pan. To my medical knowledge, a wholesome diet of oily feast will eventually create a plague of the arteries of the heart, which results to heart failure and death"
"Have my ancestors gone mad...naming the kingdom after a far away land snack? Death you say? Then summoned all my subjects to grow potatoes, and it will all be fried when the dragon is away, and to be shaped into a maiden, and to be fed to the dragon every day, till his death visits him, and we shall finally have peace"

And so the people of Hash brown planted potatoes, and did what the king have ordered them. And at every feast the dragon, whose eyes like all other reptilians, aren't clear, was tricked by the delicious-ness of the maiden shaped hash browns. And through the months he got too fat to fly, but still addicted to the hash browns. On one feast, he dropped a hash brown which has its head and left leg eaten. He shivered and fitted. As the people watch to their delight, the dragon dropped to his death and died.

As they celebrate that night, the old sorcerer came back, and asked to be rewarded. The King refuses to do so, as he claimed the old man vanished without a clear explanation, and could have lead to more destruction, with an addition that there was no reward in their agreement. The old man then cast a spell to all humanity, with power so might driven by his anger, that all people were to be addicted to their weapon as the dragon, and die as the dragon. And the curse lingers to this very day, with thousands of heart failure cases across the world, due to food of high fat content. Eat well.

PUSINGAN !

Post ini mengisahkan keakraban hubungan Ah Chong dengan seekor angsa bernama Pusingan.

Pada suatu hari,  Ah Chong (versi pelajar sekolah rendah) sedang berjalan kaki pulang dari sekolah. Hari itu merupakan hari yang paling panas di kampung tersebut. Kesian Ah Chong, terbengah-bengah dia sepanjang jalan itu, menahan panas terik dan suasana yang bahang itu. Dalam kepala otaknya, teringat pula makan tengah hari yang disediakan oleh ibunya. "Apa yang dimasak oleh ibu hari ini?Nasi ayam? Kalau nasib aku baik, mesti ada teh'O ais".

Pada masa yang sama, terdengarlah Ah Chong akan suatu bunyi. "Bunyinya seperti seekor angsa", katanya dalam hati. Bunyi tersebut datang dari arah sebuah benteng kecil berdekatan sawah padi. Tanpa membazirkan masa, Ah Chong bergerak ke arah bunyi tersebut. Alangkah terkejutnya Ah Chong apabila terjumpa dengan seekor anak angsa yang kecil.
"Kesian anak angsa ini, dimana ibunya? Baik aku bawanya pulang sebelum dibaham haiwan lain".

"Ah Chong!! Kamukah tuh? Ah Chong, kenapa balik lewat hari ini? Ada hal di sekolah?" tanya ibunya.
Ah Chong tidak mempunyai banyak kawan di sekolah, jadi tidak biasalah dia meluangkan banyak masa di kawasan sekolah.
"Tidak mak, Ah Chong terjumpa anak angsa ini dalam longkang. Ibunya tidak tahu dimana. Oleh sebab Ah Chong kesian akan anak angsa ini, Ah Chong bawanya pulang, mungkin boleh berinya makan minum".

Anak angsa itu sangat comel. Dengan serta merta, Ah Chong terus sayang akan anak angsa itu. Oleh kesayanganya yang sangat mendalam, Ibu Ah Chong membenarkan Ah Chong pelihara anak angsa itu. Pada suatu malam, sebelum Ah Chong masuk tidur, Ah Chong menjenguk ke dalam kotak yang disimpannya anak angsa itu untuk mengucap selamat malam.Lepas itu, diciumnya anak angsa itu. Tiba-tiba, kepala anak angsa itu berpusing 365 darjah. Ah Chong bisu terkejut.
"Boleh buat lagi?" tanya Ah Chong. Berpusing lagi kepala anak angsa itu 365 darjah. Ah Chong begitu kagum dengan kebolehan anak angsa itu, begitu juga dengan ibubapa Ah Chong. Oleh itu, anak angsa itu dinamakan 'Pusingan'.

Sehingga besar anak angsa itu Ah Chong peliharakan. Setiap hari masanya diluangkan dengan Pusingan. Ah Chong tidak mahu berkawan dengan budak-budak yang lain. Antara Ah Chong dengan Pusingan terdapat pertautan yang aneh. Jika Pusingan sakit, Ah Chong juga akan sakit. Ini menimbulkan rasa bimbang dalam ibubapa Ah Chong terhadap anak mereka yang leka melayan anak angsa itu buat bertahun-tahun. Apabila Pusingan tidak mahu makan makanan yang disediakan, Ah Chong akan memarahi Pusingan. Kemudian, Pusingan akan bermanja dengan Ah Chong. Menurut bomoh di kampung itu, Ah Chong dan Pusingan  merupakan anak kembar tetapi tidak dipercayai oleh ibubapanya. Mereka hantar Ah Chong ke sekolah yang jauh dengan harapan Ah Chong dan Pusingan akan berenggang. Namun, harapan itu tidak menjadi kenyataan. Perhubungan mereka tetap akrab dan mesra.

Menjelang Hari Tahun Baru Cina, ibubapa Ah Chong telah menyimpan Pusingan di dalam dapur belakang rumah mereka. Ketika itu, Ah Chong berada di sekolah. Apabila Ah Chong pulang, dia terus menyedari kehilangan Pusingan dan segera mencari Pusingan sambil menangis. " Ibu, Ibu nampak tak Pusingan?"
"Tak, rasanya Pusingan sedang merayau di kawasan sawah. Pergilah carinya di sana".

Ah Chong lari sekuat hati menuju ke kawasan sawah. Sehingga petang dicarinya Pusingan, namun tidak dijumpai. Hari semakin gelap. Dengan hati yang penuh gelisah, Ah Chong terpaksa pulang ke rumah. Apabila sampai di muka pintu depan rumahnya, Ah Chong terbau akan masakan ibunya untuk makan malam Tahun Baru Cina. Ah Chong terus masuk dan duduk di meja makan. Ibunya sedang berkemas di ruang dapur. Ayahnya sedang melipat surat khabar yang baru dibaca dan menuju ke meja makan.

"Ayah, Ayah ternampak Pusingan? Sudah sehari saya tidak berjumpa dengannya"
"Kau cari Pusingan sepanjang hari ini?"
"Ya Ayah, masih tidak dapat dijumpanya"
"Errm...tak tahulah Ah Chong...ummm...sudah, jangan risau banyak-banyak...nah, makanlah angsa ni yang dipanggang oleh ibu kamu...."

A Long Flight (2)

It was the longest period of time I've ever experience, hearing the alarms go off. The entire cockpit blacked out, and then lighted up with red coloured emergency bulbs .I lost control of her. I was falling. I could not eject myself. I won’t if I could, it would be suicide to the power of three if I do so. She was spinning like a giant eagle shot dead from the sky.

“Mayday!! Mayday!! "
A loud bang accompanied the event. Then, it was black.

I heard the sound of a river. I felt mist flirting with my face. My shoes are wet, I'm aware of that. I woke up. The sun was shining a little too bright. I got myself up, even though my head was spinning like two monkeys falling in love. I was in a shallow river. I turned around. I saw her...all smashed up. I felt like crying, I got this thing for planes you see. But I could not spare more time for mourning over pieces of metal. Besides, I could not waste the Author's time, typing will drive you mad. I tried one step at a time. My left shoulder was badly cut. I tore a portion of my shirt, and tied it around my wound. To survive and meet civilization, to escape this unknown Mediterranean forest, I must follow the stream.

I have never drunk water so fresh and sweet before in my entire life. And drank till I'm full I did. I filled up my bottle, and planned to continue. Then, I heard a twig snapped behind me. I turned fast and to my amazement-ness, a satyr, a young one I say, judging by the size of his horns, standing, staring at me.

"You lost, Sir?"
"You're...you're...you're a goat man?"
"Satyr, Sir, yes, half man, half goat".
"You've got to be kidding me!"
"I did not throw a joke, Sir"
"Look, goat man, I...”   "Pip, Sir"
"Pip, whether you're real or not, I'm lost, so if you don’t mind......Pip?"

Pip turned pale. He was staring blankly into the air. The flute in his hands dropped on the forest floor. Then, his jaws started to buff. His eyes turned yellow. He raised his hands up, like little children in kindergarden, lining up, heading for class. He opened his mouth. His saliva drools over his chin. He started to choke out some sort of word, but I could not make it out. His 'symptoms' are extremely familiar. Too familiar. He started to choke a little more. Sooner, he'll spit out that word, that very word, the word which I fear most, spitted out of a mindless,lifeless body.
Hell yes he spitted it out.
"Brraaaiiiinnnsss!!!"

I ran. I ran for my life. The flashback of events from ‘84 raids my mind. '84 was the worst year, but it was the end. We were at war, but the cure was released. Strange, is it back? It must be back! The Satyr got it! Satyrs run fast. They're half goats for Neptune's sake. What's worst than being chased by a Satyr? Being chased by a Zombie-Satyr, screaming out for brains! To my dumb-wits, I was running while looking back. To make things worse, I reached a cliff, a cliff so high, you could barely think you're on the same planet your own mother plopped you out, I fell. As I was falling, I could see the young zombie-satyr looking down at me...still mumbling out "brains". Falling was forever. I screamed my lungs out. Then, the stalagmites came to my sight. Ouch.

"Boom!!"
I woke up. I was at my couch. The sun light beamed across my living room. I turned and saw yesterday's pizza on the table. My door was whacked...knocked. "George!!"
I walked towards the door, feeling dizzier than ever.
"George, it's been a week now! Where's the rent? You pay, now!"
"Mr.Timh, please, another week?"
He gave a pity look, with a slight touch of anger.
"Three days tops, George, three days!"
And he was off. I closed the door behind me.

I turned and saw the sky outside of my window. It was green!! Then, there were sounds of jet engines. It was the haze thingy.They're spraying out seeds. Coincidence-ness? I walked into my bathroom. I took off my shirt. My entire arm suddenly jammed. I look over my left shoulder. A wound stitched up, probably three weeks old. All I could do was to stare at that wound. Then, a sudden thud on my door moves me out of the bathroom. Can't he just get it? He gave me three weeks, tops! What's more to ask? I opened the door.


"Look, Mr. Timh, I told you I.........Pip?"
"Brraaaiinnnss!!"

A Long Flight

It hasn't rain for 4 weeks. The haze was as horrible as a slice of a 5 year old frozen pizza. The newspapers were filled with headlines like "Haze Baze","Caution of Haze","Asthma Patient Taken by the Haze". Everyone was advised to wear a facial filter mask. Driving became hazardous. Tourism polls plunged to dead bottom, like waterfalls from a distant planet (read some sci-fic stuff). People just stayed indoors. The blueness which once coloured the sky was bleached (no, the haze has not contents of peroxides). Hardly has anybody walked on the pavements of the city. The bird which always chirps at your window at 7:30 a.m disappeared. You started to miss that bird. You regret that you've thrown a ka-jillion curses at him..her..him. The haze silenced all.

Then, the government made a call. They started ordering planes with special gadgets, equipped with a special compartment containing a man-developed chemicals.Chemicals which will be ejaculated by the planes. Chemicals engineered by scientist. Chemicals which are certified for using, even though we don't really know their exact chemical composition. This special chemical are to be sprayed into the air. They were considered as seeds of rain. They will make rain and this rain will wash the haze away.

Calling on duty. Hi-hoa. This is your captain speaking. I'm Captain Wright, pilot assigned for every mission and quest carried, in purpose of saving mankind. This flight, was the first flight 2345 under government command. This flight is another adventure. This is my first time flying under government command. Yes, i grabbed it after a huge hesitation. I grabbed it hard for the sake of...well..my rent issues.

I suited up.I had my special shoes and hat on. I walked out. There she was, what a beauty. Then, there were a few people wearing red jump-suits, filling her empty tanks with some greenish liquid, and shut it tight they did.
"She's all yours now, Captain".

She was one fine piece of art, in the cockpit. There were...buttons...everywhere...and a digital navigator right in front of me. I never had a digital navigator on my personal sweetheart back home. I trust my guts, I don't need a digital navigator. Then, I was introduced to a yellow liver with a red button on top of it, by some other guy in a red jump-suit. That specific button will release the icky green goo, which will make rain.

At the field, where we're all lined up, awaiting the commands from the control tower, the feeling of excitement filled me. "I'm gonna fly this baby sweet!"
"Flight 2345 Wright heading west 45..."
"This is flight 2345 Wright awaiting for west 45, over"
"Flight 2345 Wright, take runway, proceed"
"Copy that"

She moved gracefully over the runway. Then, I gave a full throttle.
"Flight 2345 Wright altitude reading stable now...await order of releasement"
"Flight 2345 Wright, copy that, over"
She went smooth into the sky. This girl fly like she owned the sky. I just kept my bearing on west 45. In approximately 36 minutes, I'll receive my next order.

36 minutes flew by, like a duck knowing his luck in the oven. Then, the radio has 'spoken'.
"Flight 2345 Wright, order to release subject matter in 30 seconds"
"Flight 2345 Wright, copy that, await order"
The radar picked the signal up. I held on the yellow liver. My thumb released the cap.The red button was exposed, being totally under control of my thumb.
"Flight 2345 Wright, order to release subject matter in T-minus 10 seconds, 9..,8..,7..,6..,5..,4..,3..,2..1,..engaged"
My thumb responded. The rear of the plane jerked, The co-hatched opened. Then, the air was suddenly green.

The volume of the tank was signaled empty. The co-hatched shut automatically. My job was done. Now, to fly her safely back port through the thick haze.
"Home court,this is flight 2345 Wright on radio, subject matter released fully,over"
"Copy that Wright, waiting for your arrival, keep bearing on east 135 degrees, over"
I knew at that moment, rent issues, settled for sure.

The flight went smoothly, just like departure and during mission. Then, the haze started to get thicker. Then, it's colour changed darker. She started to shake, and shaken hard did she get. My hands griped a little harder. The green crap must have worked fast. I'm Captain Wright, I'm used to this stuff. But at that very second, my hands gripped harder than any pilot had gripped a steer. I was struggling. I called on radio, but there was no respond. The signals were all blocked. The radars are jammed. Everything went haywire. Suddenly, her tail was hit. I flew across many storms.For Mary's sake,I flew THE West Haley storm back in '86, a storm nobody survives. I'm friends with storms. For sure, I'll bet you a thousand rich man dimes, that hit, was no old man Jenkins lightning. Not a single bolt of lightning at all. Not even another plane. My plane was hit by something else, and God right I don't know what was it.

TheLaVa's Fireflies (Owl City) Parody

You would not believe your eyes
If ten million Chinese guys
Drive up so fast in the city

Cause they bought a teddy bear
And simply toss it everywhere
you'd think its cool
But i pity the teddy bear

I'd like to make myself believe
That Chinese man will fry mee
It's hard to say that he'll reduce the
amount of MSG
Cause he's mee goreng is making me dizzy

Cause i got a Chinese bud
Who's best friends with a big strud
As he tried to teach the bird how to dance

A lantern above my head
Loh mai kai beneath my bed
A roasted chicken ,hanging by a thread

I'd like to make myself believe
That Chinese man will fry mee
It's hard to say that he'll reduce the
amount of MSG
Cause he's mee goreng is making me dizzy

Leave my door open for some air
(please take me for bak kut teh)
I want that Chinese man's teddy bear
(please take me for bak kut teh)
My friend Kong said she's not chinese
(please take me for bak kut teh)
But she's definitely not Lebanese

To ten million chinese guys
Who knows how to stir and fry
Are better cooks than Simon Cowell

But I'll know where several are
Famous chinese makan plaza
We can walk from my house cause its not too far

I'd like to make myself believe
That Chinese man will fry mee
It's hard to say that he'll reduce the
amount of MSG
Cause he's mee goreng is making me dizzy (x3)

-Salam Satu Malaysia everyone!!-

JACK AND JILL

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water,
Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.

So down them go ,tumbling down, their way was a little bumpy,
After that, came down the pale, tumbling down empty.

Jill woke up, a little woozy, and saw Jack fell upside down,
And he landed and crushed on a pretty flower, Jill gave him a big frown.

"Jack, you idiot, you crushed that poor flower"
"Woops! My dear, hope i did not crushed it into powder!"

"Forget the flower"said Jill, "Look what's inside!"
A little caterpillar, in the flower it hides.

The little fellow's unconscious, he did not move much,
To home they brought it, to save it with a gentle touch.

The caterpillar awakes, with a headache, in a Tupperware,
His where abouts and injuries is what he was not aware.

Then Jack and Jill came, to gave a look and see,
The frighten little fellow gave a shrilling scream of "eeeeeeee!"

"Do not fear" said Jill "A friend of little one",
"We saved you when you're out, before you're really done!"

" Then I thank you my friends, for what you've done for me",
"Now lets head for the garden, and have a time of sweeee!"

For so many days, fun and play they had together,
And play they did all day, despite of the moody weather.

One day, Jack and Jill went out to the garden, to meet their little friend,

Then they found out that their day's fun was at an end.

The caterpillar was not to be found but a large cocoon hanging,

Jack and Jill could do nothing, but sit they did and wondering.

After a week they wait, all lonely and weary,

Out came from the cocoon, a beautiful lady of a fairy.

"You saved my life, and helped me avoid being a bird's dish",

"For this good deed of yours, I'll grant you a wish".

Before Jill could say it, Jack shouted out his bill,

"A well which spurts out lots of Coke, sitting right up that hill!"

Then the fairy took her wand and gave it a wave,

while Jill sat angrily for Jack did not behave.

Then a bright light appeared, and the fairy vanished,

And Jack and Jill knew her work has now finished.

So up they went on the hill to fetch a pale or two of coke,

"We won't be tumbling down this time, Jill!", Jack gave out a poke.

So down they went, to sell their coke to the local pub,

Across the road they went to go out to the sub.

Thinking bout the money that soon will fall to their pockets be,

A huge truck came fast and gave a whack,

and you've guess it, they both mati.