It's Lava Bieber's Birthday

Those who kenal me lama, u know i takkan leave without my loooong speech yg korang menyampah tuh...

besides, banyak sangat la nak reply, and fb memang bagos untuk kesihatan...
so, biar i mule..eherrmmm...

S1003Beta
I thought friday night mesti boring giler, or just an ordinary night kerh, or something...So, I keluar with Dharsh lepas class to go and get mask merepek tuh kat mid valley. So yea, my bday, takde la important sangat, cant wait to balik and tidur...balik,washed up, take train yang memang bagos untuk kesihatan tuh to college and change and all. Memang fun la after jumpe u all there. Then the event start, fun pulak. Everyone was lyk cantik giler, raining pon i tak kisah...makan pon ok,Fern and wormy was there,OMG!!Mr.Mohan came as college boy, ape entah.. Daniel serious handsome giler!! pheeewiiitt...whoops!! WAKAKAKAKAKA..lawls...memang macam orang asli la we all after that. Then Jules have to balik, and so I hugged him goodbye, then he pegang2 my mask, I bukak the mask and was lyk "hi" and inside i was lyk "ape pegang2 nih? FAG"...then...then...THEN!!...then everything went quiet, serious giler quiet...LAWLS!! Julian's kiss memang caused a riot :P, balik rumah, I gelak macam nak mampos!! XD...Then, approaching pukol 12 malam, everyone nak balik, and pritz was lyk "dun!! 1 moar minute"...sanggop u all tunggu bday I eh!! Lawls!! eh wait, Isaac, you left a salt patch on my face and tangan yerh!! :P Ishak, u d best, eventhough u dtg as a chinese hobo...Dharsh, the card memang cun giler!! frame letak kat muzium negara!! WAKAKAKAKA!! Glad the taugeh tak sesat masa balik..msg u all dlm card tuh memang buat I terharu!! huwaaaa!! U guys memang the best, clearly i was super duper aper je lah wrong at first biler i masok methodist, berbulan2 I cari jalan keluar, now, sad pulak to know we all not together for few moar years..takperh, fb penyagak kan ader...

Scienceone 0809
Memang i looking forward untuk berjumpe with all penduduk kampong semangat, dah lame tak hang out with all d kundejems, I thought we all kena ban dari pizza hut!! LAWLS, i pegi there, and hug semuer orang, shag will hug everyone's lungs out. So, we duduk and makan pizza, and criter pasal life kiterorg, update skit, buat flashbacks, theeve is still theeves, the best wife ever, thanks theeve for the present, better than roasted turkeys XD jose planned everything, jose u awesome toothpick,memang seronok I jumpe u all...then, secara ganasnyer, tangan monyet2 antarabangsa u all tutup mata I, and I shouted "stop it!! you're poking justin bieber's eyes!!" and when I bukak mata, ternampak la cake yg awesome, with tulisan "HAPPY OLOOLOOLOOLOOLOO DAY" memang cun u all,especially my loong wish, and how u made me take out candle with my mouth, and bantai kepala i dlm cake tuh, with the presents all coming out of nowhere, tak sangka u all!! U ppl, after 12 tahun la kowt 2gether, made THE LAVA speechless, congrats..I rase kan, every kundejem meeting we have, sure lepas tuh i kena sore throat..no wonder kiterorg kene ban from many places..I MISS YOU ALL SOOOOO MUCH, i memang tak nak balik!! stay forever with u all...You all memang made my day, next meeting bagi taw, U guys (opps, sorry syah, girls) memang the best, especially when kamie bagi taw 'secret' tuh, and we all secara 2gether-gether nak belasah that fella, and how ramya masak kong's hair (i miss that so much), with "...nasi lemak *sep sep sep* roti canai..." Scienceone, we rock, semangaaaatttt *hand gesture*

so tuh la criter pasal kawan2 I dlm class, U all, memang tak sangka langsong, thanks, best bday ever...
Kalo i miss out some part of the criter, add kan lah for me yerh,i memang nyanyok...
BERTUAH I DAPAT KAWAN CAM KORANG...huwaaaaa!! sob sob...*hingus*...sayang korang,muahx!
So, since u all kawan2 I, dgn barang2 u all prepare, walaupon tak la important sgt nak celebrate bday I tuh..
Kundejem or not,
I bagi U all...dari pokok kelapa...
SEMANGAAAATTT...*hand gesture* (-.-)

oh ya..n kundejems, i still think plankton's house is missing, and i did hear aisyah said 'chicken and peas in a bowl...'
And title tuh jgn salah faham ok, Im not JB punyer fan!!...ok, I am...yish, dah dah!! diam!!

A midnight insanity after reading an ancient Enigma

I hate what the biblical film epics did to the Egyptians, the brutal image portrayed, using the enormous task story of gangs of slaves when there is no absolute evidence suggesting the myth of such massive enterprise, which seems like a colossal waste of time and energy. Have Vatican I no clue of astronomy? Ancient racism is blasphemy. Of such stories written by Europeans when they're still primitive compared to the highly religious and advanced Egyptians, and we've taken to account such edited work, thousands of years later? How mentally brutal can old civilizations get to up-glow themselves, categorized such people of extreme reserved, who kept the inner mysteries from all but their chosen initiates, of motives of sciences incorporated in religion.
We can only sit, and ponder yet again upon words of drunken 2000 year old man, absorb good will into our hearts, waiting for Judgement day....which I hope no ancient envious writers who have done such damage would follow upon and leading us where we should be going....
Or the libraries in heaven are nothing more comparable than the KL National Library, useless as its appearance and smell.
If we were to be lied to in heaven, then prepare yourself to invade the reset button, where our souls could teleport to another planet capable of supporting life, and start over...and time travel, visiting 'us' in ancient times, further support their technological advances, like the AVP movie (except for the sacrificial ceremonies), and establish a communion of inter-galactic Christianity, a Vatican IV perhaps, and an anti-Christ of the dark side like Star Wars...where then we encourage war, but reduced by an intergalactic version of a reformed "Flower-Power", and play Elvis, The Blues Brothers and John Lee Hooker throughout space, stopping at a galactic cheeseburger stand on a moon in a distance galaxy, light travel to your nearest church, where you'll hear a archeological proven old testament, and eat glowing holy breads and radioactive sacramental wine...
What, we already have a Robin Hood in space...and walkie talkies!
And how dusty history books you dig up behind your shelves in the middle of the night could bring such insanity, blogging like a comic character owned by Graham Annable…

Joshua Radin - Brand New Day

More like TheLaVa-Brand New Day....

Cake

Just to let you people know...
That it's possible...
to try making pandan cake...
and suddenly end up with a cheese cake...
eventhough you got your ingredients right...

for Hasvinder Kaur and Farhana Nohrin...
:)

Kabus dan Kabut

Aku masih ingat hari aku belajar perbezaan antara kabus dengan kabut

Lava: Cikgu, kabus dengan kabut tuh ape bezanyer?

Cikgu: Kabus tuh jadi kat lebih 1000m, kabut tuh kurang darr 1000m, selalunyer terbentuk kat laut..

Lava :Abis, apesal pulak name dier lain2?

Cikgu: Tempat lain, name dier lain..

Lava: Jadik, kalo kat sini azmi, kat US ezmi? (wakakakaka)

Cikgu: Ialah...kalo luar gunung berapi tuh lava, kalau dalam gunung berapi tuh namenyer magma....

Lava:........

Kamie: padan muker kaw!

The Dead Zebra

We saw a dead zebra
in the drain ; beside the post office
We saw a dead monkey
and a man begging for money
beside a crowded morning clinic
We saw a chimpanzee gasping for air
and a chimp barely able to breathe (in the sea)
We saw a man wearing zebra clothes
crossing the zebra crossing
We saw a man wearing zigzag clothes
crossing the zigzag crossing
Why should we all suffer like this

We want to remove all zebra crossings
We want to remove all zigzag crossings
We want clean air for the chimpanzees
We want money to be given to the man with the dead monkey
We want the DBKL to clean the drain,
which got clogged by the dead zebra
We want John Masters and Polo given to people who wear
crap clothes
Let us decide what the community rights should be;
for now and forever.

By Hasvinder Kaur and Lavania Sugu
17th October 2006

Drain

Mom’s cousin brought back a new girlfriend, and boy how annoying that 23 year old woman was. Visiting sucks. There’s nothing much in Tampin, just a large area filled with old, half abandoned kampongs. Irritated, I burst out all swears that I can swear out. With mummy busy with visiting, I decided to sneak out, and explore the boredom of whatever that’s still standing.

And so I begin my ‘journey’, carrying a bag filled with my wallet, phone, food, a book and a bottle of water. As I was walking in that small town, I decided to take a detour, entering a small road behind the shops, leading to a small kampong, barely filled with people, and oh so usang. The houses were all made of wood; some were as clear as no more. The kampong was not maintained anymore, so, the nearby hutan is taking over.And so, being female, I decided to enter the kampong, walking on its main road, passing by every old house. After a short while, I reached the end of the kampong, facing a hutan. There, where I was standing, was an old wooden house, where an old granny came out, and said “Nak, buat apo rayao-rayao?” “Tengok-tengok je nek” “Kalo cam tuh, kalo nampak harimao, jangan tegur, jangan buat bising tau, buat tak taw eh, tak mo tegor-tegor” (My dear Malay friends, you know what she meant).

After having her creeping me out, I decided to enter the hutan, just to look around, without knowing that my geographical instincts was about to get me into real trouble. I saw a tree with a fruit that is adable, I don’t know its name, but it taste like passion fruit (grandma taught me). Then, something caught my eye, moving, it was a biawak, huge fella. Came down, and I approach the creature. Realising that action, the giant lizard darted of, fast. I chased it, without thinking. As I was running, I step into a dent, which turned out to be a huge hole. The hole was deep, and the fall was hard. My head went spiny for a while. I rolled up to my back, moving my legs and arms, then my neck, to check if there’s anything broken. Got up, to check for any injuries, none. I look up, and around. It turns out I fell into some sort of a drain. I was in this cubicle concrete structure, all dried up, and with its surface covered with plants, which explains why I didn’t realise its existence. I tried reaching my hands to the top, jumping as high as I could, but with no luck, it was deep. There were no cracks or jolts to help me up and after 15 minutes shouting for help, I realise it was pointless. I knew I was stuck, for sure. There was no way out. I sat, feeling hungry; grab a bite of whatever I had in my bag. I was hoping for someone to find me, but I am aware of how hopeless it was, who would enter an abandoned mini-hutan anyway, no one knows the drain was there.

But I wasn’t afraid. I found it extremely weird that I was not afraid. I should be, fear is the key to survival, makes you think. I was fonder with my curiosity about the drain, its unfamiliar structure, how it resembles nothing like modern drainage systems, how old and decomposing the concrete is, how it tunnels both on my left and right. After spending an hour in there, I decided to find a way out myself. If I can’t go up, then I’ll get out sideways, the drain will surely lead me somewhere. Thus, I followed the tunnel. It was getting dark, and I know I have to move fast before I lose precious daylight. I reached to the other end, deposited in another cubicle of useless concrete. I move on, continuing into the tunnel, reaching another cubicle. I was lucky as the walls were cracked opened by roots of trees, growing through the walls of the concrete. I decided to use the roots to climb up, placing my hands and feet progressively. Trust me; it wasn’t as easy as it is in the movies. I spent half an hour trying to climb out. Once I got out, I look out for a long stick, using it to trek the hutan, making sure I would not fall into anything anymore. I used my bearing I learned from Pn.Rusmarini and especially Cikgu Azmi, identifying where the sun sets, the gradient of the slants and identifying the tree that I might have cross by (and boy I was useless at those skills). I know I should move a roughly minus 25 of west (thanks again Cikgu Azmi for applying that habit into us). Finally, I got out, facing an extremely old house, a part of the kampong the hutan successfully taken over. I follow the path which leads me to the main road of the kampong, and out. I took the small road out from behind the shops, entered the town, and back home. It was already 6 in the evening, or so. My mom went hysterical; I can’t answer her calls, can I? There was no signal. I could not tell her I snuck out, entered an abandoned kampong, chased a lizard into the hutan, and got stuck in a hole.

“Errmmm...I went for cendol mummy, in town...and got caught up with football on TV, sorry”

Went into the bathroom, I checked for scratches and such. I was proud I didn’t injure myself, after a fall like that, I could have broken something. Then, I saw a dried twig tangled in my hair. While attempting to get it out, it scraped the skin of my finger. There goes my record.

After a hot shower back in KL, the shivers start to kick in. I wasn’t scared before. I was too busy thinking about getting out, getting my bearings, wondering about such a huge, unfamiliar of a drain in the middle of a thick bush pat, what was it doing there and such. I wasn’t even thinking about the fact that I was stuck, or might get eaten by wild animals, or die of starvation, or maybe it might have rained, or that it might be too late when people already found me. The thoughts which I left aside came back, and boy was I scared!

I was very lucky. It could have become serious. Thus, I would like to thank Cikgu Azmi for the skills, Artemis, Goddess of the maidens for protecting me, Athena, goddess of wisdom for my actions, Odin, for my bravery, Christ, for my realisations and for making me love myself and Semangat for not making me nature’s food. My friends, who cared about me and the poor, lonely, undiscovered longkang.

And lastly, my dear teacher, Nehemiah Trot, who kept me going throughout the entire moment, keeping me sane, encouraging me to continue planning, which help my survival. I never got lost in a jungle before, and this was my first, even though it wasn’t really a jungle, something I like to call a mini-hutan. You can write that down and nailed it on whoever’s door, I shall write. I am definitely proud to be your young Alexander. Thus, I dedicated this post for you.

SPCA

Right....
i have no stories yet, but i do have something to tell you

Once upon a time.....no, one day.....no, once,there was a....no....whatever...

about two weeks ago, TheLaVa was sitting at home...doing whatever, i cant exactly remember....
Then, her mom, who was out for a while gave a wild whacked on the door!!...no, just kidding....she gave a knocked on the door. TheLaVa opened the door.

Mom: Look, there's a young cat in front of our house and he's injured. i think he broke his leg. He could not move much.

TheLaVa: the fellow OK or not??

Mom: Well, he could not move much....we should do something

And so TheLaVa set on a journey to inspect the cat, and to find it well, healthy, but had snapped his bone
She carried him to a corner for warmth and served milk.


In SPCA office, the phone rang...

Lady: hello, spca jalan Ampang, can i help you?

TheLaVa: hello lady, theres a cat in front of my house, he broke his leg. some fellow thrown him from god knows what floor. come help.

Lady: i cannot come there miss, you have to send the cat here

TheLaVa: Then what are you going to do with him?

Lady; we'll put it to sleep.

TheLaVa: lady, you serious?? he just broke one leg!!! just help me balut the leg!!!

Lady: but we will still put it to sleep

TheLaVa: the fellow is drinking milk, sitting down happily with his gooooooogly eyes, and you want to put him to sleep??

Lady: we have no choice, that's what we will do

TheLaVa: why. cant you just balut his leg?

Lady: we will balut his leg...then put him to sleep

TheLaVa: why you have to do that?

Lady: because...theres too many cats here....

TheLaVa: so, if i broke my leg...then was sent to a hospital, they will put me to sleep because theres too many people?

Lady:........
Then, she hung up.....
Go SPCA!!!!!!

p.s cat is fine, able to walk slowly, thanks to....MILK!!!!!!